Living with a roommate can be a great way to make a new friend and learn about different perspectives, but it can also be challenging if you don’t know how to get along. You may arrive at your residential hall your first year expecting your roommate to be your new best friend, but that is not always how it works out. However, there are plenty of strategies for getting along with your new roommate at Pacific.
It all starts with the roommate agreement. In this agreement you each outline your standards for living and come to a compromise on how things should be run in your dorm.
“Roommate agreements serve as a foundation for expectations when living together and cover everything from nighttime routines to expectations over what can and can’t be shared,” said John Larson, assistant director of Housing Guest and Conference Services.
Sometimes the roommate agreement isn’t enough to prevent disagreements, though. Here are tips for handling some of the growing pains that may come with adjusting to your roommate at Pacific.
Understanding different living standards
Recognize that the two of you likely come from different backgrounds.
“When people share a space for the first time, they often overlook the fact that their roommates grew up in different households with completely different rules and expectations,” Larson said. “Chances are, you are also doing something that is strange or possibly annoying to them. Schedule a time to have a conversation about living together.”
Your perceptions of what is “clean” may vary, you may have conflicting schedules and bedtimes or one of you may be more introverted than the other.
“It’s important to approach these situations with empathy and patience. Engaging in open conversations about each person’s expectations and habits can help bridge these gaps,” said JonJon Junpradub, director of Residential Life.
Communication is key
When it comes to rising issues, bottling up feelings rather than talking about them can cause conflict to reach a boiling point.
“Clear communication and a considerate approach lay the foundation for a smoother living environment. Sometimes, we overlook this first step, but it’s important to remember,” said Junpradub.
Settling disputes between yourselves is a good first step, but if that doesn’t work, you may need to involve your RA.
Talk to your RA
RAs serve as a valuable resource for resolving roommate disputes and addressing housing-related concerns, which ensures a safe and positive on-campus living experience. You can schedule meetings with them to go over issues you need to address.
“RAs are trained on resolving roommate conflicts and can provide tips for having a conversation about your issue. Be sure to reach out to your RA about the agreements and know that it is okay for your RA to help mediate the conversation,” said Larson.
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